Southern Sips

Worry not, my friends. Although my sanity, patience and life were nearly taken by the fast-paced and overwhelming lifestyle of the North, I’ve somehow managed to stroll my way back into the land of the pines. With the help of a little southern charm (refer to Southern Charm in a New York Minute), I was able to successfully maneuver my way through Broadway, around Little Italy, across Chinatown and onto a southbound plane.  In fact, after very little deliberation, and a brief talk with my heart, I finally arrived at the conclusion that I belong in the South (shocker, I know). For perhaps the very first time in Nikki May history, my head and my heart finally saw eye to eye.  Considering the rarity of this occasion, I had no other choice than to act upon my intuition.

Thankfully, my intuition led me right back to where I started – just south of the Mason-Dixon. Now I don’t know about you, but the return to my homeland leads me to believe that a celebration is in order. Remember folks, cause for celebration in the South includes any event which takes place on a day that ends in “y” (refer to Socializing with Social Media). It’s true. The return, departure, or arrival of a fellow southerner is an immediate call to action for all of those affected within two counties. You so much as to mention the words “welcome home,” “congratulations,” “going away,” “wedding,” “baby” or “divorce” and your entire town and neighboring counties arrive on your door step with the South’s finest cuisine and most luxurious china sets.

However, as any SEC college graduate (or drop out) knows, a party isn’t truly a party until one very crucial component arrives. For the sake of those readers legally inhibited to consume adult beverages, we’ll refer to such party favors as “refreshments.” Take it as you like, but every southern social includes an iced down beverage of choice. While there are thousands of recipes for success, I feel obligated as a retired bartender to introduce you to a few of my southern favorites. So grab your Dixie cups and cubed ice and prepare for a real taste of the South.

Since those under the legal drinking age should probably abide by curfew, we’ll begin with the responsible refreshments. Perhaps the most popular drink to grace the South, southern sweet tea will always remain a southern delicacy. Although variations of tea can be found in neighboring parts of the country, there’s no other tea which better accompanies soul food and southern eating. Simply bring approximately six cups of water to a boil and add three tea bags. After pouring the tea into an empty container, add sugar and ice. For a little extra oomph, add a squeeze of fresh lemon, lime or peach for a savory fruit tea.

Next in popularity among southerners is homemade lemonade. After rinsing four lemons, roll them with the palm of your hand on a hard surface to break up the pulp and produce more juice. Next, cut the lemons in half and squeeze the juice into an empty bowl. Then, strain the juice in order to remove any seeds which were accumulated while squeezing. Lastly, pour the lemon juice, sugar and water into a two-quart pitcher and add a hint of honey for an extra kick in the glass. For pink lemonade, substitute your favorite honey for a shot of grenadine syrup.

Sorry kids, this is where your viewing rights become suspended. However, please feel free to revisit after the big 2-1. For those of you who’ve already experienced this milestone  in your life, please continue.

For a quick and easy modification to southern sweet tea, simply add your favorite fruit juice or fruit flavored liquor to Sweet Tea Vodka. Chill on ice and enjoy.

The second southern staple to make the list of Dixie drinks is the Texas Hurricane. Remember fellas, hurricanes weren’t named “himicanes,” so be gentle with the ladies. After all, the wrath of an unhappy southern belle is bad enough without a shot of liquid courage. For this recipe, pour about one ounce each of rum, coconut flavored rum, gin, vodka, triple sec, pineapple juice and grenadine syrup onto ice in a hurricane (tall) glass. Next, mix approximately two ounces of orange juice. Then, pour one ounce of 151 proof rum over the back of a bar spoon to float the liquor on top of the drink. Lastly, garnish with a cherry, orange or lime as desired.

For a more tropical flavor, try a Sex on Miami Beach (boys, get your mind out of the gutter). By mixing one and a half ounce each of vodka and melon liquor with one ounce of raspberry flavored liquor and four ounces of pineapple juice, you get a sweet and fruity cocktail perfect for the harsh southern summers.

For an equally appetizing refreshment, indulge in a Heart of Dixie favorite – the Alabama Slammer. Simply combine one ounce each of Southern Comfort liquor and amaretto with a dash of grenadine syrup and four ounces of orange juice. You can turn a shot into a mixed drink by simply adding ice. But may you be warned – even a stranger to Alabama may be caught chanting “Roll Tide!” or “War Eagle!” after a few of these bad boys.

If you’re not interested in the aftermath of a Texas hurricane, the scorching beaches of Florida, or the competitive chants of Alabama, I encourage you visit the Swamp Water. By adding one and a half ounces each of apricot brandy and lime flavored vodka with two cups of freshly prepared lemonade, you’ll taste a side of Louisiana you’ve never experienced. Just add gator shaped ice and you’ve got yourself a true southern fancy. However, be mindful of those University of Florida fans, as they may not take too kindly to your creative use of their mascot.

If you’ve come to take a liking to swamp water, you should also consider trying Bayou Juice. Add just less than a half ounce each of coconut rum, spiced rum, amaretto, cranberry juice and pineapple juice, then pour into a mixer half filled with ice. Lastly, shake and strain for an authentic Cajun kick.

Ladies, if the sound of swamp water or bayou juice doesn’t perk your attention, give the Southern Pink Flamingo a shot. Literally. Simply add a half ounce each of Southern Comfort liquor and coconut rum with a splash of pineapple juice. Add a dash of grenadine syrup and lemon juice and mix in a shaker half filled with ice. Strain your pretty concoction into a pony glass (small beer) and enjoy.

Last, but certainly not least, is my personal drink of choice – Jack and Coke. Folks, if you can’t figure out this doozy of a recipe, I sincerely worry for your well-being. However, if the taste of Tennessee isn’t what you’re looking for, you can always substitute the Jack Daniels Tennessee whiskey for Jim Beam, a Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey. Either way, neither Jack nor Jim will let you down. After all, they’re the only men who’ve ever brought me to my knees.

There you have it y’all … the recipes for a southern social success! To add an addition to the list, please feel free to share in the comment box below.  We all know that secrets don’t make friends, so I strongly encourage you not to be stingy with your recipes. And as always, remember to enjoy your Dixie drinks responsibly and never drink and drive. After all, a southern belle would never be caught singing drunk in her panties.

xoxo, Nikki May

Southern Charm in a New York Minute

I’ll admit it. Even the most charming, disciplined, and mild-mannered southern belle (or gentleman) can lose sight of their patience when caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday city life. Whether it’s the constant pushing and shoving of massive, late-to-work crowds, or the undeniable crudeness of fellow elevator goers, the lack of manners among congested populations can certainly be temper shortening. Even so, any native or visitor to the South well knows that mama wouldn’t see too kindly to you acting in the same manner. So before you get your feathers in a ruffle, and well before you do something unfavorable, remember that two wrongs don’t make a right. I know, I know. You probably got tired of hearing that phrase after your last family feud debacle back in the sixth grade, but let’s face it. The age old saying is true. Yes, after so many years, and a little growing up, I can happily admit that mama really did know best.

So although it may be unpleasantly easy to push right back, or respond with a less than kind remark, it’s crucial that you refrain from becoming “one of them.” If they want to live miserably, with a miserable attitude, and a miserable outlook on life, so be it. But I’ll be darned if their lack of manners should affect yours. After all, your mama “didn’t raise no fool” (hopefully).

With that in mind, allow me to educate you on how not to lose your southern charm in a New York minute. With the help of Jill Zarin’s (experienced city slicker and star of Real Housewives of New York) “10 rules for NYC Living,” you’ll be well on your way to successful (and polite) city living. Don’t worry rural residents; even if you don’t live in or near a huge metropolis, you’re bound to visit the city sometime. And when that time comes, you’ll now have the guide to help you along the way.

1. First, practice elevator etiquette. I know we’ve all been guilty of frantically pushing the “close door” button when you see that family of twelve screaming children heading your way, followed by one slower-than-molasses grandmother, and two older-than-dirt great grandfathers (bless their hearts), but do your best to abstain from being “that person.” They may not be the supermodel you were hoping to hit the high levels with, but you never know. Their great grandchild may just be that dreamboat you’ve been fantasizing about since you were knee high.

2. Second, don’t be stingy. Yes, penny pinchers, this means you. Although times are a bit tough, I promise you won’t miss a meal if you slip your cab driver an extra buck or two. Who knows, he may drop you off in perfect timing to accidentally collide with that great grandfather from the elevator, who just-so-happens to be with his dreamboat of a great grandson. Did I mention the dreamboat was single?

3. Next, try not to kill the messenger. The bike messenger, that is. Bikes in New York City are like vultures on road kill. They swoop around in circles and strike when you least expect it. So unless you want to collide with that Asian food delivery boy, please, look both ways before opening the door as if you’re a diva on the red carpet. Trust me, that dreamboat standing on the curb will find absolutely nothing attractive about that burnt fried rice in your hair.

4. Although you may feel rather prestigious after surviving the elevator and cab ride downtown, refrain from pulling rank. In other words, don’t flash your business card in an attempt to skip a spot in line. Your endless credentials and unpronounceable title will do nothing but make those behind you secretly plot your dismissal. In this instance, patience is the virtue.

5. Like any good Southerner knows, remember to say, “Please, thank you, “and goodbye.” Especially to that dreamboat who helped you on the curb. Lucky for you, it turns out he thought the fried rice hair do was actually kind of cute. Congratulations, my friend. That southern hospitality may have actually snagged you a lifelong partner in crime. Don’t worry, you can thank me later.

6. And similar to the cab door rule, make sure to stand back from the subway when waiting on the platform. After all, you don’t want to be the messenger who hits the big piece of metal head on. I promise you’ll get the bad end of the deal every time- along with a throbbing headache.

7. Dog lovers, this next one’s for you: always remember to bring a baggie. I’ll be the first to admit that the puppy-on-a-leash trick works on me every single time. Ladies, let’s be honest. Dogs are total chick magnets … as long as they’re properly cleaned up after. Fellas, if you allow your dog to use the potty without the necessary post-cleansing, just imagine what your dreamboat across the park will think of your apartment. I can assure you it won’t be pretty.

8. And of course, watch the bark and the bite. Although it may be tempting to entice the love of your life with your furry friend, be cautious. The absolute last thing you need is for your “man’s best friend” to nibble a bit too hard on your soon-to-be dreamboat. I’m afraid her idea of a first date doesn’t include a trip to the emergency room.

9. Also, walk warily and always keep your eye on the sidewalk. Ladies, this one’s especially for you. We all know you look good in those new pair of stilettos, but I can assure you- you won’t look good when those new pair of stilettos meets the sidewalk grates. That avoidable disaster could end you up with a twisted ankle or even worse – a broken stiletto.

10.  And lastly, thou shalt not steal – a cab, that is. Yes, the golden rule applies to you too, stiletto lady. After all, you wouldn’t want some tourist stealing your cab as you’re stranded in a harsh February blizzard with no stiletto heel, so don’t do it to someone else. At last, once you finally flag a taxi down, be so kind to share. Who knows, this could be the start to your dreamboat’s happy ending.

xoxo, Nikki May

Bye bye back roads, hello Broadway!

Although I’m a firm believer that the best people, sports, celebrations, and cuisine come from below the Mason-Dixon line, I’m also a firm believer that almost everything in life is what you make it out to be. Now I realize this may sound a bit humanitarian, so allow me to make one minute disclaimer: In absolutely no way, shape, or form am I a philosophical genius.  In fact, the term philosophical quite honestly makes me shake in my boots (and heels too, of course).  Believe it or not, Introduction to Philosophy was by far the most challenging college course to ever exist on my class schedule. I could give a presentation about any communication concept known to man with ease and little discomfort, but stood like a deer in headlights when it came to decoding philosophical assumptions. With that said, please know that the last thing I’m attempting to do is to compete with Aristotle or Plato. Instead, I’m simply sharing a life lesson learned through numerous trials and tribulations.

So now that I’ve openly admitted to my philosophical deficiency, let’s continue. In case you were somehow lucky enough to avoid my digression into philosophical assumptions, I’ve previously claimed that almost everything in life is what you make it out to be. Now of course you may be stricken with circumstances which seem out of your control, unbearable, and down right unfair, but such is life. And more times than not, I’ve found that people who approach obstacles with positivity and optimism often find themselves surrounded by positive and optimistic environments. On the other hand, however, I’ve also found that people who approach obstacles with negativity and hatred quite often find themselves surrounded by negative and cynical environments. It doesn’t take a philosopher to figure that one out.

So what does any of this have to do with “back roads” or “Broadway?” you may ask. Well, allow me to explain. While recently critiquing my most recent post, I suddenly realized that I was sounding less like Nikki May and more like Negative Nancy or Debbie Downer (I promise there’s no direct correlation with any of the previously mentioned names). And to be quite frank, that’s just not my style. So although New York City is still ranked as the second rudest city in the nation, and although I still think they could benefit from a strong dose of southern hospitality, I also think there’s a lot of good that could come from this experience. As a southern lady, I’ve realized that the absolute only way to approach this new chapter in my life is to approach it as I would a friend (or enemy for that matter): with grace, open arms, and an open mind.

With that said, I’ll start my new life in the city by recognizing some of New York City’s finest assets. However, keep in mind that the following interpretations come from a small town girl with only a few short weeks of city life under her belt. So without further adieu, let’s get started.

1. First and foremost, it’s impossible to get a speeding ticket. Yes, even for this speed demon. As a new member of such a congested city, I was strongly advised to leave old faithful beneath the barn. While I felt stranded and deserted for my first few weeks here, I’m happy to report that it’s actually worked out in my favor. Not only does the V6 get a break from tacking on ridiculous mileage, but my driving record can finally begin to breathe again. On top of that, my monthly insurance has dropped considerably and I’ve saved hundreds in gas spendings alone. If that’s not a good feeling, I don’t know what is.

2. And since I’m left without a car, only a few modes of transportation remain. I can ride the overly populated city bus, ride the rat infested subway, or enjoy a nice stroll through Times Square. Now I don’t know about you, but there’s only one acceptable option from that charming group of choices. Times Square, I’ll take your crowded streets over that crowded train any day. By walking to and from everywhere, I’m forced to exercise on a daily basis. Bye bye holiday stricken stomach, hello toned beach body!

3. Additionally, while walking amongst the massive amounts of people swarming every corner, I’ve realized that you can pretty much do whatever you want. Because frankly, there’s no such thing as a stereotypical “normal” person. I could literally walk around the block in a polar bear costume, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and lay, and never even get noticed. Quite contrary to the South, where every detail of your breathing existence is on display for the world to see, people seem to mind their own business here. And they sure seem to like it that way.

4. Now those observations are fine and dandy, but let’s get to the fun part. I’ve always heard that New York City was the “city that never sleeps,” but now I know that New York City is definitely the “city that never sleeps.” It doesn’t matter if it’s 12:00 noon, 4:00 in the afternoon, or 4:00 in the morning … people are still out, restaurants are still open, and music is still playing – at all hours of the night. No matter what kind of extra curricular activity you may fancy, you’re bound to find it somewhere between uptown and the Meat Packing District. So if stiletto heels and sequince are what you’re looking for on a Saturday night, this is definitely the place you want to be.

5. And yes, even the most bona fide Southerner can enjoy a night or two out on the town. In fact, I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing New York nightlife first hand. Although I’m a sucker for Southern nights beneath the stars, staring at the New York City skyline from atop a sky scraper is hard to beat. In fact, it’s even hard for this hopeless romantic blogger to express into words. Just imagine yellows, blues, greens, reds, and oranges reflecting off the shores of the Hudson River at midnight while the sound of distant music fades into the background. It’s a fairytale ending that everyone should experience at least once.

Even with endless flashing lights and deafening sirens, it’s hard to deny the beauty of this east coast city. In fact, I’m slowly beginning to appreciate the culture and history of a city which continues to amaze me. Although the fast paced lifestyle and crowded streets will never be my forte, it sure is one heck of an experience for this young dreamer.

There. I said it. New York City, our love/hate relationship may turn out to be something beautiful after all.

xoxo, Nikki May

From Florida oranges and Georgia peaches to … the Big Apple?

They say “an apple a day keeps the doctor away,” but there seems to be no remedy for these homesick blues. As you may or may not remember from previous posts, I’ve been a lucky member of the South since I was born. I was raised in the panhandle of Florida (please refer to “Miss Nikki May” in the column to your right for further details), moved to Nashville for an internship with CMT (Country Music Television), and finally settled a year and a half ago in Auburn, Alabama for graduate school. So as you may have guessed, this recent move to New York City for my graduate internship with Fox News Channel has come as quite the culture shock.

As a native of the beautiful Gulf Coast, I’ve always taken salty summer breezes and freshly boiled peanuts for granted … until now. Sure, the hair frizzing Florida humidity and squishy textured peanut may not sound like much to a stranger of the South, but I’ve come to really fancy the southern way of life. In fact, as a recent (and temporary) New Yorker, I’ve fallen in love with the South all over again. Indeed, the old saying, “distance makes the heart grow fonder” has never been so true.  However, while falling head over heels for the land of Dixie, I’ve found that I’ve acquired an indescribable appreciation for the small details which set the South apart from any other place a person may call home. Yet, above all, there’s one thing I surely miss the most. Characterized by the seldom use of “ma’am,” “sir,” “please,” and “my pleasure,” southern hospitality is certainly the southern element which tugs most at my heart strings. However, according to Orlando Sentinel’s recent ranking of the nation’s rudest cities, I have every reason to miss that southern hospitality – or any hospitality at all for that matter. In fact, New York City currently sits comfortably as the second rudest city in the nation, trailing one spot behind Los Angeles. Congratulations, New York City. Your cold and bitter ways have put you in the spotlight yet again (not that you’re not already used to that). Perhaps you could learn a thing or two from Wikipedia’s amicable interpretation of southern hospitality:

“Conversation flows cheeringly, for the southern gentleman has a particular tact in making a guest happy. After dinner you are urged to pass the afternoon and night, and if you are a gentleman in manners and information, your host will be in reality highly gratified by your so doing. Such is the character of southern hospitality.”

Now of course every place has “that person” which seems to defy the odds, but for the most part, the South is pretty darn hospitable. Sure, I may be a bit sweet on my homeland, but I speak from experience. Down home, it’s perfectly acceptable to become best friends with a person you just recently called a stranger. Heck, before you know it, you’ll be swapping family photos and jotting down phone numbers- all because you passed each other on the street. And just wait until you stumble across a blood thirsty crowd of SEC college football fans. You’ll suddenly find yourself submerged in a sea of best friends united for one reason – the shared love of first downs, touchdowns, field goals, fair catches, and formations.

However, southern hospitality extends far beyond the cries of the college football stadium. In fact, www.eSSORTMENT.com kindly describes a few of the infamous and cordial habits which deem southerners hospitable:

First, there’s “the wave.” If you haven’t experienced the South before, you may feel as though you’re in the middle of a Miss America pageant. Yes, we wave that much. If you pass us on the street, on a back country road, or on your favorite route through the local country store, you can bet you’re going to be greeted with a wave. That’s just the way people down South like to say hello or acknowledge your existence. And yes, we’re not afraid to make eye contact.

Next is a little bit of friendly small talk. The rumors are true. We love to talk, chat, gossip, whatever you want to call it. In fact, if you’re planning any sort of public outing, you should probably designate a solid thirty minutes of your schedule for chatting. We want to know how your mama is, what your daddy’s been up to, how the boys are, what the girls have gotten into, and how the cousins are doing. If you’re lucky, we’ll even ask how the ol’ mutt’s doing.

But keep in mind that we have our own distinct way of communication. And yes, y’all and a’int are considered part of our vocabulary. Although you won’t catch a northerner uttering the likes of either word, southerners find no shame in their game. And in case you didn’t know, “y’all” refers to you all, everyone, every one of you, or the likes of an entire group. We all know what “a’int” means. And to tell you the truth, they sure sound good with a sly southern drawl.

Likewise, there are certain phrases and sayings that roll off the tongue a little sweeter when accompanied with a good dose of southern hospitality. I don’t care who you are, or where you’re from, it doesn’t get much sweeter than “bless your heart!”

Although I could happily continue for pages, I think you get the point. There’s just a simple sweetness found in the South that I have yet to find elsewhere. And to be quite frank, I think a few places could learn a lesson or two. Who knows, maybe I can sweeten this Big Apple up just a bit. After all, there’s nothing a little southern hospitality can’t fix.

xoxo, Nikki May

There’s nothing pretty about skin and bones.

It’s true. You need some junk in your trunk. There’s absolutely nothing attractive about protruding shoulder blades and revealing rib cages. Contrary to popular magazine spreads and celebrity snapshots, everyone deserves a filling supper consisting of some of the south’s finest cuisine. Therefore, allow me to introduce to you a simple and mouth watering recipe straight from the family kitchen. With a little bit of time and skill, we’ll be sizzling in no time!

For our first southern cooking lesson, the SouthernCharm menu will consist of moist cream of mushroom pork chops, scalloped potatoes, and brown sugar and bacon green beans. To top it off, we’ll bake one of the South’s most decadent desserts and wash it down with a true southern staple: peach cobbler and southern sweet tea.

For this complete meal to feed a family of four, you’ll need to gather the following ingredients:

4 Pork chops
Fresh potatoes (1 bag if from the grocery store)
Fresh green beans (1 can if from grocery store)
Fresh peaches (1 can if from grocery store)
Bacon (approximately 10 pieces)
3 sticks of butter
Dash of salt and pepper
Shredded cheese
1 can of cream of mushroom soup
1 cup of milk
1 cup of brown sugar
2 cups of sugar
2 cups of flour
3.5 cups of water
4 bags of tea leaves

Beginners, you may want to set out all of your ingredients as not to forget a crucial step.

Now that we’ve got all of our essentials, let’s get to cooking! To begin, we’ll start by baking the peach cobbler since it takes the longest to cook. Don’t fret kitchen newbie’s, I’ve got the easiest peach cobbler recipe in the South. If you can’t master this easy concoction, you may want to steer clear of the kitchen. To begin:

1. First, heat your oven to 350 degrees;

2. Next, melt one stick of butter in desired casserole dish (This only takes a few minutes in the oven. However, for faster results, place the stick of butter in the microwave until melted);

3. Then, mix the following ingredients in a separate bowl:

2 cups of sugar
2 cups of flour
2 cups of water

4. Once mixed, pour on top of melted butter;

5. Place your sliced peaches on top (this is called “folding”). If you don’t have access to home grown peaches, it’s perfectly acceptable to fold canned peaches on top and pour remaining juice. (If you’re not a fan of peaches, you can substitute this fruit with just about any other fruit or pie filling);

6. Last but not least, bake your cobbler for about an hour at 350 degrees.

See, that wasn’t so hard! Not only does your cobbler make an excellent ending to a fabulous supper, but it also makes a great air freshener for the house! Now that we’ve got the best part cooking, let’s go ahead and prep for the southern green beans and scalloped potatoes.

To begin prep, place one stick of butter in each casserole dish (one for the southern green beans and one for the potatoes) and melt in the oven at 350 degrees. While you’re waiting for your butter to melt, go ahead and peel your potatoes and slice them into three to four sections for faster boiling. Next, rinse your potatoes under clean water and place them in a pot of cold water for boiling. Then, boil your pot of potatoes on the stove until you’re able to cleanly slide a knife through each potato slice. While your butter is melting and potatoes are boiling, you are now ready to fry your bacon on the stove (you may want to spray Pam on your pan first so the bacon doesn’t stick).

By now the butter should be melted, so we can finally begin on the side dishes! We’ll first begin on our southern green beans since the potatoes are still boiling (and take less time to bake in the oven). To get our brown sugar and bacon green beans ready to bake, complete the following:

1. First, take one casserole dish out of the oven and place your green beans in the melted butter (if you’re using canned green beans, make sure to drain them first);

2. Then, add the following ingredients:

1 cup of brown sugar
1/2 cup of water
1/2 of fried bacon (approximately 5 pieces)

3. Finally, bake your southern green beans for 30-45 minutes at 350 degrees. However, the longer they cook, the better they are. So if you’re still working on the rest of the meal at the end of 45 minutes, go ahead and leave them in a bit longer.

By the time you put the green beans in the oven, your potatoes should be good and ready to take off the stove. So once you’re able to cleanly slide a knife through your potatoes, complete the following steps and you’ll be well on your way to potato perfection!

1. First, drain your potatoes once they come to a boil;

2. Then, take the other casserole dish out of the oven and place your potato wedges in the melted butter;

3. Next, run a knife through the potato wedges in order to slice them into smaller portions;

4. Once your potatoes are no longer large wedges, add the following ingredients:

A dash of salt and pepper
1 cup of milk
1/2 of fried bacon (approximately 5 pieces)
Sprinkle with shredded cheese of choice

5.   Last but certainly not least, bake your scalloped potatoes for 20 minutes at 350 degrees.

Finally, our dessert and side dishes are baking to southern perfection! But no worries, my friends. Just when you thought the fun was over, it’s time to cook the main meal! That’s right folks, the main cuisine for tonight’s feast calls for moist cream of mushroom pork chops! After all, we didn’t climb to the top of the food chain to become vegetarians. However, before we can get our grub on, we must complete the following:

1. First wash your pork chops;

2. Then, add a dash of salt and pepper as desired for seasoning;

3. Next, use the remaining bacon grease used earlier to brown your pork chops (make sure to flip your pork chops occasionally) and pour the following ingredients onto the pork chops:

1 can of mushroom soup
1/2 can of water

4. Finally, cover your pan and let your pork chops simmer for about 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, boil four bags of tea leaves on the stove. Once they come to a boil, drain your tea bags into a gallon pitcher, add a cup of sugar, and fill the remaining container with cold water.  Suddenly you have the finishing touch to a superb southern meal! By now, your feast should be ready!

However, make sure to do the tooth pick test for the peach cobbler. If you can slide a tooth pick cleanly through the cobbler, it’s finished. If the tooth pick brings some residue with it, let it bake until you’re ready for dessert.

See, that wasn’t so bad! In fact, even a busy college student could easily prepare this meal in between studying and cramming for tests. Students, for more easy recipes, check out the Student Cookbook for Dummies, written by Oliver Harrison. It’s fast, simple, and delish!

This meal should be a hit whether you’re trying to impress the new love interest, or just trying to show mom and dad you’ve learned a thing or two while in college. From my kitchen to yours, happy eating!

xoxo, Nikki May

Tweets and Ties

Don’t worry fellas, I didn’t forget about you. In fact, I was saving the best for last.

As a southern belle since birth, I’ve had the opportunity to date the best (and absolute worst) “men” that the South had to offer. While there are some fine young men who portray true southern gentlemen,  they are few and far between. Real far between. In fact, I’m beginning to think that they’re an endangered (if not extinct) species that must be saved before it’s too late. Therefore, I will attempt to present to you the tricks and trade of becoming a southern gentleman in hopes of restoring this once charming population. 

But before I do so, I’d like to digress. Although I honestly believe the South’s male population has forgotten what a true gentleman signifies, I can’t necessarily blame them. Perhaps it’s the wave of feminism sweeping the nation that has so wrongly transformed our men. After all, why would a man open a door for a woman who constantly declares that she’s strong enough, capable enough, and independent enough to do it on her own? Or, perhaps acting in a gentleman-like manner isn’t the “masculine” way to behave in today’s midst of rebels, outlaws, and “bad boys” that women so dearly crave. So guys, believe it or not, I truly sympathize on your behalf.

However, let that not be an excuse. If you expect to find a truly charming, intelligent, and graceful southern belle to stand by your side through thick and thin, you’re going to have to step it up. It’s only fair. So with that in mind, let’s get started.

According to Southern Byways and eHow, a true southern gentleman should do as follows:

1. Open doors. This one should be a given to any man who was raised right. Yes, women are perfectly capable of opening doors for themselves, but it shows a sense of respect that every woman should appreciate.

2. Carry heavy things. Again, women are not porcelain antiques, but they should be treated as so.

3. Mean it. Unfortunate for you, women have a way of detecting insincerity from a mile away. So don’t say something unless you mean it, don’t act in one way if you don’t mean it, and surely don’t make a promise if you don’t mean it. Nobody has time for childish games.

4. Live your beliefs. Stand up for what you believe in and never back down (don’t confuse this with stubbornness).  More importantly, allow your actions and way of life speak for itself. Anyone who knows you should know what you believe in, whether you’ve told them or not. Remember, actions speak so much louder than words.

5. Do unto others. After all, it’s the golden rule. If you wouldn’t wish it upon yourself, don’t dish it upon others.

6. Smile. Nothing says “hello” like those pearly whites.

7. Be responsible. You’ve outgrown those diapers, so it’s important to act like it. You shouldn’t be babysat, looked after, or watched. Just be responsible by paying your bills, doing what’s right, and getting your work done.

8. Expect resistance. Especially from any true southern belle. If it’s worth having, it won’t come easy.

9. Say “Please” and “Thank you.” Anyone with manners knows the importance of this one.

10. Compliment women. Southern gentlemen aren’t shy about flattering women, nor do they hesitate to shower them with compliments. If you think her eyes are pretty, tell her. If she doesn’t appreciate it, move on to the next one. She wasn’t worth your time anyway.

11. Respect your elders. This requires a sincere use of “Ma’am” and “Sir,” unless told otherwise.

12. Be polite. Contrary to popular belief, ladies don’t like “bad boys” who treat them badly – only insecure girls do, and it’s important to know the difference. Being anything less doesn’t get you anywhere other than someone’s bad side.  ( The Southern Advantage gives an excellent example of true southern politeness: If Donald Trump was from the South, he’d say “you’re fired, but bless your heart, you’ve tried.”)

13. Offer your coat.  Especially if you’re just getting to know a woman. You can offer your arm, but only after you’ve reached a truly comfortable level. This is not the time to make any moves, so don’t even think about it.

14. Pick her up. But don’t ever be too insistent, as it may come off desperate. If she wants to meet you at the restaurant on the first date, let her. She’s only ensuring her safety and should be allowed to do so. However, never fail to offer.

15. Allow her to order first. Take care of her needs first, or at least offer.

16. Dress the part. When in public, always be presentable (yes, this means you should know how to tie a tie). Women love to follow the old saying, “Look your best, but more importantly, hang your arm on someone who looks his best too.” So make it easy for her. If you need guidance, visit Southern Proper for all of your attire needs. After all, every woman loves well dressed gents.

17. Learn how to speak when with a lady. Although she may like to get down and dirty, she’s not “one of the guys,” so watch the language and treat her with respect.

18. Flirt. This may sound odd, but southern gentleman are avidly flirtatious. However this is not to encourage any vulgar or sexual comments. But let’s face it – southern gentleman flirt with most women they come across – whether the old lady down the street, the waitress at the diner, or his girlfriend/wife. They simply know how to make women feel good and enjoy doing it.

19. Remember chivalry. Contrary to popular belief, it truly does exist. Give up your seat for a woman (not just the elderly), stand when a woman enters the room, always walk on the outside of the street, always pull out her chair, and bring her flowers. 

20. Always defend a lady’s honor. Never allow a man at the bar to speak to her in an inappropriate manner, and offer to walk her to her car. Remember, a woman will always admire a man who can protect her. 

21. Be a man of your word. As eHow so graciously puts it, “a Southern gentleman is a man of his word. He is faithful to his wife, faithful to his church (if he is religiously inclined), unfailingly honest, and lives by a code of nobility. He is a genuine man in a world full of posers.” Thank you eHow, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

So gentlemen, do me a favor and restore the chivalry which was once so prominent across the southlands. By studying the previously listed ways of becoming a southern gentleman, acquiring the essential attire, and complimenting like crazy, you’ll be well on your way to becoming the next southern stud. But I must warn you- southern women have a sense of mystery that can make any pursuit challenging. Although well spoken and mild-mannered, their intellect and sassiness can leave you wondering. Luckily, today’s social media has the ability to alleviate some of your worrying woes as personal statuses plaster the Internet. Filled with daily activities, heartbreak stories, and personal insight, you may be able to decode her true emotions from a quick glance of her online status. So although you can’t read her mind, you can read her Twitter.

In 140 characters or less, she could tell you anything, ranging from her innermost emotions to what she had for lunch. Sound stalker-ish? Let me further explain. Twitter, (“A form of blogging that lets you write brief text updates about your life on the go and send them to friends and interested observers via text messaging, instant messaging, email or the Web”), allows users to tell friends (aka “followers”) what’s going on in their lives. By “tweeting,” users can pass along pointless information, self-promotion, news, and more. So although it may sound a bit intrusive, it’s really the nature of the beast. People want you to know what’s going on in their lives. So fellas, take advantage of this opportunity before it’s too late. Who knows, you may have been some lucky lady’s most recent tweet! 

Now that we’ve established proper southern gentlemen etiquette and basic Twitter knowledge, it’s time to switch gears. Remember how I mentioned I was saving the best for last? Well, it’s that time of the semester when finals are steadily approaching and things are coming to an end, including our blogging requirements. So as my last post of the semester, I wanted to leave you with something near and dear to my heart, and what better way to do that than to inform the male species of the characteristics they should be portraying? Don’t worry gentlemen, you can thank me later. However in addition to providing a step-by-step guide to winning any girl’s heart (or at least mine), I wanted to send you my upmost gratitude and appreciation for all of the support, comments, and wonderful feedback you’ve shown me. It’s been an amazing experience, and I look forward to continuing it with you even further.

So although this is the time many of my fellow classmates will discontinue blogging, Southern Charm is here to stay. That’s right folks, Southern Charm isn’t going anywhere. In fact, it’s going everywhere! I hope to travel the South in order to bring you everything southern, from the SEC, NASCAR, sweet tea, grits, country music, and southern hospitality to pictures and stories from the interstates of Texas, hills of Tennessee, and shores of the Carolinas. I truly believe that we do things different here, and aim to prove my belief through endless pictures and stories from yours truly. So if you still haven’t been fortunate enough to embrace the soul of the South, kick off your shoes and stay awhile longer! It’s going to be a long ride!

xoxo, Nikki May

G.R.I.T.S. and Google

So you now know how to date like a southerner (Love and RSS), socialize like a southerner (Socializing with Social Media), cook like a southerner (Fish Fries and Forums), spring break like a southerner (Partying with Podcasting), music fest like a southerner (Jam Out with YouTube), and speak like a true southerner (Social Media Releases with a Southern Drawl). But what does it truly mean to be southern?

For women, it means being a G.R.I.T.S. For those of you who find yourself scratching your head and wondering why women have to be coarsely grounded corn, allow me to explain. In addition to being a cooking staple of the South, G.R.I.T.S. also refers to Girls Raised In The South. They have a mystique that captures a man’s attention and steals hearts. Their God given grace and sense of pride set them far from any ordinary girl, as they know their roots and work hard for their money. They strive to succeed and refuse to back down for anyone who can’t keep up. Intimidating by nature, they have high expectations and settle only for the best. Indeed, there’s nothing quite like a woman southern born and bred.

But make no mistake – although being raised in the South is a blessed coincidence, it takes time, skill, and experience to become a true southern belle. Therefore, I will gladly introduce the ins and outs of maintaining southern belle status. So ladies, this one’s for you. If you find yourself lacking grace, charm, and wit, take notes. But if you consider yourself an experienced southern belle veteran, feel free to add additional tips below in the comment box.

Don’t worry gentlemen, I didn’t forget about you. Although this how-to guide isn’t directed towards you specifically, it’s crucial to understand and appreciate the important characteristics which are about to be introduced. For those of you who have not had the opportunity to date a southern belle, you may want to also consider taking notes, for it will be vital in finding a sophisticated, charming, and respectable woman (this is not to say that they can’t be found elsewhere). And if you have been fortunate enough to date a southern belle, you may want to hang on tight. After all, a southern girl makes the best friend, the worst enemy, and the hottest girlfriend. If you don’t believe me, take country singer Kenny Chesney’s advice:

“Southern girls are God’s gift to the entire male population. There is absolutely no woman finer than one raised below the Mason-Dixon line, and once you go Southern may the good Lord help you – you never go back.”

So ladies, listen closely. Fellas, grab your pens and paper, because class is back in session!

According to wikiHow, the following suggestions are vital for becoming the perfect southern belle, including, 

1. A southern belle must first be presented into society. This is where a debutante ball or cotillion comes in handy.

2. A true southern belle has perfect manners. Therefore it’s important to realize and practice proper table manners. In addition, it’s only polite to respond with “Excuse/Pardon me” when colliding with another, to smile and say “Thank you!” when given a compliment, and to be polite to everyone (yes, everyone includes your worst enemies. If you just can’t bear the thought of someone,  simply “kill them with kindness.”)

3. Respect your elders. This requires a sincere use of “Ma’am” and “Sir,” unless told otherwise. 

4. Add the nickname “Sugar,” “Sweetheart,” “Darlin’,” “Lamb,” and “Baby” to your vocabulary and start to call your friends that. However keep in mind that some people are highly offended by the use of “pet names,” so don’t overdo it. Make sure to use the upmost grace and charm when doing so and never use them when referring to your elders (refer to tip #3).

5. Make sure you always dress well, and are presentable at all times. Southern ladies love wearing dresses, pearls, heels, and nice jackets. However, avoid anything too revealing, as it is not the lady like way to present oneself.

6. Always keep yourself looking clean and neat. Bathe every day, wear a light perfume, keep your hair looking nice and clean, maintain manicured and polished nails, and never overdo the make up!

7. Southern belles are very family oriented. Remember that blood is thicker than water, so make sure to love and spend enough quality time with your family. The use of “Momma” and “Daddy” never get old, no matter how old you are.

8. Take compliments well. Don’t draw attention to yourself by shooting down a respectful comment. Instead, smile and respond “Thank you!” while offering a compliment back.

9. A southern belle always has a bright, warm smile on her face. So smile!

10. A southern belle is sweet, kind, and generous to everyone she comes across. This is where “Southern hospitality” kicks in.

11. Learn how to make sweet tea! It’s a southern delicacy and should be offered to all guests! (For 21+ only: If you just can’t get enough of that sweet tea taste, try Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka or Sweet Carolina Sweet Tea Vodka on the rocks or mixed for a truly southern taste.)

12. Finish school. A southern belle has an education and a good head on her shoulders.

13. Do not drink excessive amounts of alcohol. A southern belle would never be caught singing drunk in her panties. It’s just not lady like.

14. Never swear. Leave it for the sailors. Swearing shows a lack of intelligence, it sounds dirty, and it’s completely unnecessary. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

15. Never speak of using the restroom to anyone. Simply excuse yourself.

16. Have a genuine, sweet, down-to-earth attitude. Key word: genuine. 

17. Pay attention to how you present yourself. Hold your head high, maintain good posture, and always have a neat, groomed appearance. Act like you belong, but don’t be snoody.

18. Never talk or gossip about people. That’s just tacky.

19. Never chase a man. And I mean never. Act innocent, but play hard to get.

In a nutshell, Southern Lady Magazine summarizes the southern lady as so:

“‘Southern Ladies’ have their own way of doing things! While they are cutting edge and trend setting, they still remember their roots and treasure their traditions. They cherish their families, stand by their values, and take pride in who they are. They like to make a big to-do about milestones. They are always gracious, welcoming, distinguished, and prepared, oftentimes with a home-cooked meal. Appearance matters in many different ways. And because they are well traveled, well read, and well educated, they recognize that they are special, and they are drawn to people and businesses who appreciate them for who they are.”

But don’t just listen to me, see for yourself. Chelsea Cooper, current Miss Pensacola USA 2011, is one of the South’s finest examples of a true southern belle. From years of training and pageantry, she currently represents Pensacola, FL. with grace, charm, and elegance.  For more tips on how to become a southern belle, feel free to follow her as she competes for Miss Florida USA in Miami this July.

Although becoming a southern belle may sound simple, it takes years of hard work, dedication, and practice. It’s not for the weak at heart or for the weary, so prepare yourself. However, do remember that the price of victory is high, but so are the rewards.  If you find yourself overwhelmed by the mandated criteria of becoming a true southern lady, or forgetting a rule every now and then, all hope is not lost. With today’s increasing technology capabilities, you’ll be able to easily access any southern belle handbook at the simple click of a button.

With increasing mobile device use, the amount of mobile applications continues to increase as well. But where did mobile apps come from? Created by developers, mobile applications can be distributed independently to almost any smart phone (Blackberry, iPhone, etc). However, most smart phones now have their own applications which are continuing to advance and improve, allowing functionality to phones. While some applications enhance online experience, some remain unique and don’t require any online activity whatsoever. Like people, mobile applications come in different shapes and sizes, ranging from Google search applications and instant messaging applications to pizza ordering services and sheep launching games. Take a look for yourself.

Therefore, if you have access to a mobile phone, you practically have access to an endless highway of information – all at your fingertips. With mobile applications providing users with enhanced versions of online presence, you’ll be able to pull up guidelines to just about anything in the blink of an eye, including the do’s and don’ts of proper southernism.

So there’s no excuse for failure with such easily accessible mobile applications. Ladies, start painting those nails, stringing on those pearls, and smiling with that sly southern grin. Fellas, you now have a new standard, so get to it darlin’!

xoxo, Nikki May

Social Media Releases with a Southern Drawl.

WARNING! Before you head to the land of Dixie for the concert of the year, you may want to become accustomed to the South’s unique way of communicating. Don’t worry – I’m not jumping into discussion about the newest and greatest social media just yet. Instead, I’m talking about the ever so popular, down-home, down-right southern way of communicating, consisting of southern accents, southern slang, and southern drawl. Contrary to popular belief, learning this lingo will not cause your IQ to decrease in any way, shape, or form. So relax, and just let it soak in. In fact, don’t be surprised if you accidentally adopt a few words here or there. We southerners don’t mind sharing.

However, before we begin class on southern English, let’s review some classroom rules:

Rule #1: Let’s try to keep an open mind (this means you, close-minded foreigner to the South).  Although southern expression has been ridiculed by many, it’s simply a strong dialect found in one of the many United States regions. Full of history and rich in tradition, it is surely a staple of the South. Therefore some of the upcoming content may or may not sound the most proper according to some standards. But do try to keep in mind that just because someone may talk slow, doesn’t mean they are indeed slow.

Rule #2: Avoid stereotyping any person who may speak with a slight southern accent as a hillbilly, hick, or redneck. Born a southern lady, I have been blessed with the slight accent that tends to turn heads when visiting any state north of Kentucky. However, let’s be honest. Years ago, when I would first meet a new acquaintance, I would almost always get the oh-my-gosh, you-must-be-incest look. If I was lucky enough to dodge that awkward glance, I would most certainly receive the wow-you-must-be-from-the-boondocks look. Needless to say, I got really tired, really fast of being looked at as though I had the IQ of a doorknob. So even though I’ve received numerous years of higher education and have graduated with honors for each and every degree, I’ve been forced to tone down my slow way of speaking and use of “y’all” for business sake.

Rule #3: Have fun! This information is being shared with you for light-hearted blogging purposes. This is not the Bible of southern speaking, nor should it be read as so. So grab a glass of sweet tea, sit back, and enjoy!

Now that we’ve covered proper classroom etiquette, let’s get started! Thanks to the Southern Slang dictionary, a list of terms, functions, and etymologies has been composited for easy interpretation. This list of commonly used words and phrases (from the South, of course) should help alleviate any possible confusion when visiting the lower portion of the United States:    

Ain’t
Pronunciation: ‘Ant
Etymology: contraction of are not                                                                                                                                          Date: 1778
1: am not, are not, is not
2: have not, has not
3: do not, does not, did not

A larking
Function: Verbal phrase
*Originates from the word “lark” which means to engage in harmless fun or mischief. To go a larking means to play a prank or joke on someone.

All y’all
Etymology: Intensive form of y’all
*This usage states “you all” more emphatically. For example, saying “I know y’all,” would mean that one knows a group of people; saying, “I know all y’all” would mean that one knows the members of the group individually.

Bowed Up
Function: Colloquialism
*Marked by impatience or ill humor. Refers to the way a snake bows up his head before he strikes.

Bread Basket
Function: Colloquialism
*Stomach

Cattywampus
Function: Adjective
*Askew. Example: “The storm knocked the boat cattywampus and it started to take on water.”

Darn tootin’
Function: Colloquialism
*For sure, correct

Egg on
Function: Verbal phrase
*To urge to do something. Example: “He only did it because the crowd egged him on.”

Figure
Function: Verb
*To calculate, consider, conclude or decide. Example: “He hadn’t figured on winning the lottery.”

Fit As A Fiddle
Function: Colloquialism
*In good shape, healthy

Fit to be tied
Function: Colloquialism
*Angry

Fixin’
Function: Verb
*To get set, be on the verge. Example: “We’re fixin’ to leave soon.”
Function: Noun
*Customary accompaniments. Example: ”We had a turkey dinner with all the fixins.”

Grits (Hominy Grits)
Function: Noun
*Hominy or plain corn that’s been ground until it has the consistency of coarse sand. It’s used as a side dish, a breakfast cereal, or as an ingredient in baked goods.

Hankering
Etymology: probably from Flemish hankeren, frequentative of hangen to hang; akin to Old English hangian
Function: Noun
*A strong or persistent desire or yearning – often used with for or after. Example: “I have a hankering for fried okra. I’ve really been craving it.”

Heap
Function: Noun
*A large quantity. Example: “Billy got into a heap of trouble when he stole his dad’s car.”

Hear tell
Function: Verbal phrase
*A form of “hear it told.” Often conveys that the information was passed second hand. Example: “I hear tell that the new mini-mall is going up next month.”

Hoecake
Pronunciation: ‘hO-”kAk
Function: Noun
Date: 1745
*A small cake made of cornmeal.

Horse sense
Function: Colloquialism
*Smart. Example: “She has horse sense. She’ll make it in business.”

Howdy
Pronunciation: ‘hau-dE
Function: Interjection
Etymology: alteration of how do ye
Date: 1712
*Used to express greeting.

Hush puppies
Function: Noun
*A Southern food made with cornmeal. They are small, round balls of cornbread and spices that are deep fried and often served with fish. These were originally fed to dogs to quiet their begging at the table.

Hunkey Dorey
Function: Adjective
*Everything is great.

June bug
Function: Noun
Date: 1829
*Any of numerous rather large leaf-eating scarab beetles (subfamily Melolonthinae) that fly chiefly in late spring and have larvae that are white grubs which live in soil and feed chiefly on the roots of grasses and other plants – called also june beetles.

Laying out [all night]
Function: Verbal phrase
*Staying out all night, often drinking of doing something illicit. Example: “I was laying out at the bar last night so I had a hangover.”

Lazy man’s load
Function: Colloquialism
*A lazy man’s load is an unmanageably large load carried to avoid making more than one trip. This colloquial phrase is often used to indicate that someone is too lazy to think properly. Example: “Sam took a lazy man’s load of groceries out of the car and ended up spilling them all over the sidewalk.”

Lickety split
Function: Colloquialism
*Very quick.

Like to
Function: Adverbial phrase
*Almost. Example: “I like to pee my pants when that car hit me.”

Nearabout
Function: Adverb
*Almost. Example: “I nearabout ran over that squirrel in the road.”

No ‘count
Function: Contraction
*Of no account; good for nothing.

Okra
Function: Noun
*A green, cylindrical vegetable that is often fried in the South.

Ornery
Pronunciation: ‘or-n&-rE, ‘är-; ‘orn-rE, ‘ärn-
Function: Adjective
Inflected Form(s): or·neri·er; -est
Etymology: alteration of ordinary
Date: 1816
*Having an irritable disposition.

Out of kilter
Function: Colloquialism
*Not right. Out of sorts. Example: “John was out of kilter for a while when he was relocated to New York.”

Pack or Tote
Function: Verb
*To carry.

Particular
Function: Adjective
*Concerned over or attentive to details : meticulous.

People
Function: Noun
*Relatives, kinfolk. Example: “Shelly went to see her people on vacation.”

Piddlin’
Function: Adjective
*Small or inferior. Example: “His work only gave him a piddlin’ 1% raise.

Purdy
Function: Adjective
*Pretty.

Reckon
Function: Verb
*Think, suppose. Example: “I reckon I’ve outlived my time — Ellen Glasgow”

Redneck Caviar
Function: Noun
*Potted meat.

Right
Function: Adjective
*Very. Example: “You’re right near the street you want to be on.”

Sho ‘Nuff
Function: Contraction
*Sure enough.

Show
Function: Noun
*A movie.

Shuck
Function: Verb
*To remove the outer covering of a nut, corn or shellfish.

Skedaddle
Function: Verb
*Run, scatter.

Snug As A Bug
Function: Colloquialism
*Comfortable, cozy.

Tarnation
Function: Noun
Etymology: alteration of darnation, euphemism for damnation
Date: 1790
*Used to indicate surprise, shock, displeasure, or censure.

Tarred and Feathered
*Refers to the practice of tarring and feathering people who committed small crimes such as distilling in colonial America (and in England). Today, it is often used to denote great suprise. Example: “I’ll be tarred and feathered, that dog just flew!”

That dog won’t hunt
Function: Colloquialism
*The idea or argument won’t work.

Tore up
Function: Adjectival phrase
*Upset. Example: “He was tore about wrecking his new Corvette.”

Tote
Pronunciation: ‘tOt
Function: Transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): tot·ed; tot·ing
Etymology: perhaps from an English-based creole; akin to Gullah & Krio tot to carry Date: 1677
*To carry by hand, bear on the person.

Trotline
Function: Noun
*A long line on which short lines are attached, each with a hook, for catching catfish. Sometimes mispronounced as trout line.

Tump
Function: Verb
Etymology: perhaps akin to British dialect tumpoke to fall head over heels Date: 1967
*To tip or turn over especially accidentally.

Uppity
Function: Adjective
*Conceited.

Varmint
Function: Noun
Etymology: alteration of vermin
Date: 1539
*An animal considered a pest; specifically one classed as vermin and unprotected by game law.

Walking on a slant
Function: Colloquialism
*Drunk.

War between the States; War for Southern Independence; War of Northern Aggression
Function: Noun
*The Civil War.

Washateria
Variant(s): also wash·e·te·ria /wä-sh&-’tir-E-&, wo-
Function: Noun
Etymology: wash + -ateria or -eteria (as in cafeteria)
Date: 1937
*A self-service laundry.

Whup or whoop
Pronunciation: ‘hüp, ‘hup, ‘hwüp, ‘hwup, ‘wüp, ‘wup
Function: Verb
*Variant of “to whip,” to hit or spank.

Y’all
Pronunciation: ‘yol
Function: Contraction
*Ye all or you all.

Yaller dog
Function: Colloquialism
*A coward.

Yankee
Function: Noun
*Someone from the North.

Yeens
Function: Contraction
*Ye ones. Example: “Yeens better go before you’re late.”

Yonder
Function: Adverb
Etymology: Middle English, from yond + -er (as in hither)
Date: 14th century
*At or in that indicated more or less distant place usually within sight.

See! Speaking with a southern accent is easier than you thought!  Believe it or not, humor, political candidates, and country music all come off a little sweeter when touched by southern charm. So if you’re a foreigner to Dixie, you can now feel confident when heading to your preferred southern concert of the season, for you are now well on your way to becoming one of “us.” Well, atleast you sound like one of us. If you’re fortunate enough to already classify yourself as a southerner, try to take it easy on the new guys. After all, nothing can grow in shadows.

Now that we’ve learned a bit about southern language, let’s learn about the language of social media releases. You may be asking yourself, “What in heaven’s name is a social media release?” But don’t worry. As an emerging advancement of the traditional press release, it is a relatively new idea which continues to receive criticism. So you’re not out of the loop. To be honest, I had never heard of such a thing until the topic was brought to my attention during Thursday night’s COMM7970 Social Media course. Even after being introduced to the term, having prior experience in three public relations departments, and writing endless company press releases, I still had no idea as to what could be so social about a press release. Luckily, Google did. According to Google.com, a social media release is,

“a new format of writing press releases that incorporates web-based tools for people to share and discuss the information of the release with one another.”

According to Brian Solis, the social media release is further designed to

“get the conversation going, providing readers with the ability to disseminate information and multimedia, bookmark and share the content, and in turn, spark threads. They also serve a purpose of providing new media influencers with the information they need, in one package, in order to write a full story, their way – without having to carve out the BS of a traditional release or pitch.”

In other words, a social media release is a press release which includes links to bookmarking networks, contextual tags, and the ability to track and host conversations. So it’s basically a story or announcement augmented by conversational tools and rich media. Like traditional press releases, a social media release should contain everything necessary to share and discover a story in a way that is complementary to its original intent. So what does a social media release look like? According to SHIFT communications, it looks something like this. 

As you can see, a social media release takes advantage of the linking, multimedia, and social media capabilities of the Web in order to make press releases more user friendly. By doing so, the newly innovated release is able to reach several audiences, including journalists, consumers, and bloggers. However, as previously mentioned, it is still a relatively new phenomenon which continues to receive both criticism and praise.

Like the southern language, social media releases continue to evolve and expand as time grows. So sit back and relax, because we’ve got a lot of learning to do! Y’all come back now, ya hear?!

xoxo, Nikki May

 

Jam out with YouTube.

As you may or may not have noticed from the previous post about podcasting, music plays a significant role here in the South, whether it’s relaxation from a beach band or motivation from an intense work out soundtrack. In fact, the influences of music can be found across the globe, varying in styles, types, and sounds. Although differing sounds and instruments exist across the world, the southern United States is home to many diverse genres of music, ranging from the blues to heavier rock n’ roll. From the streets of New Orleans, LA. to the honkytonks of Nashville, TN. and clubs of Atlanta, GA.,  a catchy tune is sure to catch your attention. With that being said, you should have no problem finding an array of music for your iPod selection.

But let’s face it. Although our iPods are an amazingly convenient and portable music collecting gadget (feel free to argue this point in the comment box below), they may not quench the craving we have for that loud, in your face, live, front row experience. Luckily, endless amounts of music festivals can be found in any southern state, during anytime of the year, rain or shine, guaranteed.

For example, the 2010 Wanee Music Festival will be taking place in Live Oak, FL. on April 16th and 17th. With a band lineup consisting of The Allman Brothers Band, Widespread Panic, and The Black Keys (just to name a few), the stage is set for any rock music enthusiast.

However, if Kenny Chesney, Hank Williams Jr., and Miranda Lambert are more of your taste, you may want to consider attending the BamaJam music and arts festival, held June 3rd through 5th in Enterprise, AL.  Aiming to provide financial support for Coffee County and surrounding areas, this event celebrates the human spirit through music and arts by blending Bluegrass and Alternative bands. Complete with Miss BamaJam, this festival is sure to entertain any country music junkie. 

If your ears still haven’t perked up at the thought of rock or country music, perhaps you should think about traveling to the infamous New Orleans, LA. for the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival held April 23rd through May 2nd. With cultural significance and popular appeal, this event was originally envisioned in 1970 in order to establish a festival worthy of the city’s legacy as the birthplace of jazz. As recipient of numerous awards, including four time winner of the Festival of the Year award, the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival continues to celebrate the culture of Louisiana with gospel hymn and a jazz parade. Artists such as Pearl Jam, Lionel Richie, and Aretha Franklin are scheduled for this year’s lineup.

For those of you who are country music fanatics but aren’t able to make it to BamaJam, there is still hope. Happening June 10th through 13th, the city of Nashville, TN. will come alive for the 2010 CMA Music Festival. With singers such as Tim McGraw, Carrie Underwood, and Lady Antebellum, make sure to snag a picture or autograph during the Greased Lightning Fan Fair!

If I still haven’t tickled your fancy, perhaps a brand new event will catch your attention. Beginning May 14th, a festival like no other will be taking place on the beaches of Gulf Shores, AL. The Hangout Beach Music and Arts Festival is the first ever large-scale festival on the beach, featuring two stages and 60 plus artists including Ben Harper and Relentless7, John Legend, and the Zac Brown Band. So grab your flip-flops, beach chairs, and friends, and get ready for some fun under the sun!

However, let’s assume that your boss is that guy or that your significant other despises concerts (we see who wears the pants in the relationship). In either scenario, you’re probably not going to be able to experience front row seating at the South’s finest musical collaboration. As awful as this may seem, don’t worry. Even if you can’t make it to every musical event below the Mason-Dixon Line, there’s still hope. Thanks to YouTube, any music lover can turn on their computer or cellular device and view just about anything musical. Although most of you are probably already familiar with YouTube, allow me to introduce those who have not experienced the video sharing phenomenon.

Launched in 2005, the YouTube website has become the leader in online video by allowing people to easily upload and share original video clips through websites, blogs, mobile devices, and email. In other words, YouTube can be viewed as an online public communications site. By becoming registered, users are able to upload video content and share it with the world. In turn, viewers are able to watch any video on the site.  By “broadcasting yourself” on YouTube, anyone is able to become broadcasters of tomorrow.

According to the official YouTube blog,

“YouTube gives unknown performers, filmmakers, and artists new ways to promote their work to a global audience and rise to worldwide fame; makes it possible for political candidates and elected officials to interact with the public in new ways; enables first-hand reporting from war zones and from inside repressive regimes; and lets students of all ages and backgrounds audit classes at leading universities.”

As you can see, YouTube is used in many communities around the globe, from filmmakers and political candidates to students and musicians. However, it would take entirely too long, and would most likely bore you beyond belief, to discuss all of the communities represented on YouTube.

Since we’re on a music festival kick, let’s focus primarily on the music industry.  For instance, Pensacola, FL. native Dannica Lowery uses YouTube to upload her original videos to the web. By doing so, she is able to not only express herself through her music, but also share her music with fans and surrounding publics.

With the relatively new YouTube Partner Program (YPP) for musicians, also known as Musicians Wanted, artists are now able to apply to the program in an attempt to make money from their YouTube videos. For further information about this new program, let’s go to the experts:

By sharing original videos online, musicians are able to create music and reach their public at virtually no cost. In addition, they are able to receive feedback as viewers post comments on their video.

So musicians, get recording! For those of us who aren’t quite as artistically talented, head to YouTube and jam away. If you can’t attend the concert of the decade in person, you’re bound to catch the YouTube performance before the crowd has time to make it out of the parking lot.

xoxo, Nikki May

 

Partying with Podcasting.

I have to admit – all of this crawfish talk and buzz about socializing has got me craving salt water and sunshine. I don’t know about you, but I’m in serious need of some undivided attention from the southern sun. After all, I have battled the chilling December air and made it through yet another winter wardrobe. And take it from me – managing to scrounge up light weight jackets and scarves for an entire Alabama winter is a huge accomplishment for this Gulf Coast girl. So after being cooped up all winter long, I believe it’s time to reap some rewards. 

I’m not talking about the pat-on-the-back or sticker-on-the-homework-assignment type reward. I’m talking about something serious, like win-a-million-dollars or meet-the-man-of-your-dreams type of reward. Perhaps that’s asking for a bit too much, but I like to dream big (if you haven’t already noticed). If my luck doesn’t pull through with the lottery or male species, I’ll have to think of a more exciting way to appropriately compensate myself for my struggle with Mother Nature. However, after considering my chances both mathematically and realistically, I’ve decided to go ahead and start getting creative. So following serious contemplation and deliberation, I finally came to one conclusion.   That’s right folks, SPRING BREAK 2010. Since it is (almost) spring, and I am in dire need of a break, it only makes perfectly logical sense to combine the two, right?

Right. With spring break fever romping wild through universities nationwide, I thought it’d be the perfect time to discuss the annual celebration. So grab your beach chair, tie that bathing suit (girls, you may want to securely double knot the top), and enjoy a pina colada for the next few minutes as we research some of the South’s most popular spring break destinations.

According to student travel guide Kathleen Crislip, there are a few locations to keep in mind:

As most would probably guess, Mexico and the Caribbean were the two most suggested vacation spots. With friendly beach towns and to-die-for fish tacos, they’re sure to be a spring break hit. Expect early mornings in Mexico due to late night clubs and make sure to stash about $40 for cover fees (don’t worry- entrance fees usually cover all-you-can-drink). So guys, you can feel free to put that lucky lady’s drink on your tab without fear of overdrawing.  

If Mexico and the Caribbean are a little too far south for your taste, try something a bit closer to home. Florida, for example, is home to numerous breath-taking beaches and doesn’t require a passport. If you’re looking for value (and a quieter spring break), Daytona Beach is the way to go. However if you’re in search of a more exotic getaway, the Florida Keys and Key West are the place to be. With snorkeling, quirky traditions, and never-ending beaches, you’ll be sure to enjoy your stay. But if it’s a down right party you’re wanting, plan on making a road trip to Miami or South Beach. With an intense club scene, these two cities are giving Panama City Beach a run for its money.

Let’s not forget the other southern states though. Although Florida and the coast are most popular for their tropical scenery, Texas offers quite the spring break package. From tubing, diving, windsurfing, and parasailing at South Padre Island to enjoying water sports on the lake, Texas offers it all. For nightly entertainment, don’t forget to stop in to Corpus Christi’s most famous clubs. You’re bound to have a Texas-size time.

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina also offers an ideal spring break escape for college students. With Ocean Drive beach houses and an exciting nightlife, this ocean side town is sure to charm you. It’s a party town during spring break consisting of clubs, sand, and sun, so reserve your accommodations now. Don’t forget your golf clubs and cameras, because Myrtle Beach will be a vacation to remember!

So you’ve picked a spring break 2010 destination, you have a few bucks in your pocket, and you’re all ready to hit the highway. But before you set your cruise control, take a second to look over your luggage. What did you pack? According to Seventeen magazine, there are a few items that you absolutely cannot leave behind. So along with your toothpaste and undergarments, make sure to stuff these spring break must-haves into your bag before you go:

1. Your favorite jeans

2. At least one sweater (in case the spring break weather lets you down)

3. Two bathing suits (it allows time for suits to air dry in between uses)

4. At least one dressy outfit (for any unexpected night outings)

5. Tissue paper (for your delicates)

6. A foldable tote bag (for all your spring break purchases, of course!)

7. Tape and Ziploc bags (to keep your beauty supplies from leaking on your luggage)

But wait. That can’t be it! As a lifetime member of the Pensacola Beach spring break crew (this is not an actual club title … just go with it), I have had the opportunity to witness tourists at their most vulnerable moments. Forgetting sunglasses, wearing heels, and showing up to the beach in jeans are just a few examples of spring break no-nos. Although tourists have always been a source of entertainment for beach locals, you do not want to be labeled as that tourist. Let me repeat. Do not be that tourist. So in order to save you from public humiliation and embarrassment, allow me to show you a few guidelines for proper tourist synchronization.

First, come prepared with only the necessities. A visit to the beach is not a contest to see who can pack the most junk on your side of the pier, so bring just what you need. This may include a beach chair, a beach towel, sunglasses, sunscreen, a light cover up, and possibly an umbrella to block the mid afternoon sun. Although you may decide to bring along some sort of entertainment such as a magazine, book, or game, you won’t need much more.

Next, don’t forget some cash. If you think you can “work on your skinny” by not eating, think again. The sun and sand are draining. So make sure to throw a few bucks in your beach bag for a drink and small snack. The last thing you want to do on a hot summer day is become stranded and dehydrated, so make sure to provide plenty of nourishment. After all, you’ll need plenty of energy for that late afternoon volleyball game behind the beach bar.

And of course, you can’t forget your jams. Keep in mind that there may be sound ordinances at your vacation spot, so don’t plan on bringing your subwoofers. Instead, pack an iPod. With the help of podcasting, you can listen to just about anything, anywhere, at any time.  

But what exactly is this beach-friendly ”podcasting” I speak of? According to Sharon Housley, marketing manager at FeedForAll,  

“Podcasting is online audio content that is delivered via an RSS feed. Many people liken podcasting to radio on demand. However, in reality, podcasting gives far more options in terms of content and programming than radio does. In addition, with Podcasting, listeners can determine the time and the place, meaning they decide what programming they want to receive and when they want to listen to it.”

If you’ve read my previous post about love and RSS, you should get the hang of podcasting in no time. Remember how I said RSS was like subscribing to a magazine without the periodical mailbox delivery? Well this is essentially what podcasting is. It’s an RSS delivery with audio content that is sent directly to you. Convenient, huh? With podcasting, listeners are able to retain audio archives and listen at their leisure. In addition, this technology can be used for several reasons as suggested by Housley, including self-guided walking tours, music, talk shows, training, and stories. Although podcasts can be displayed on websites with clickable links, they can also be stored on an iPod, making your music and audio files portable and convenient.

For example, by podcasting Pensacola’s own Dannica Lowery- Head Over Heels, you’ll be able to listen to Dannica’s tunes anytime, anywhere. Considering her Florida Gulf Coast influence and folk/acoustic sound, her music is the perfect choice for your spring break 2010 iPod collection. As a singer, songwriter, and high school friend, Dannica has successfully pursued her music career as she travels the Florida coast. For a complete schedule of her upcoming shows, visit Dannica’s REVERBNATION profile and become a fan today. As Al Green stated,

“All I can say is that there’s a sweetness here, a Southern sweetness, that makes sweet music … If I had to tell somebody who had never been to the South, who had never heard of soul music, what it was, I’d just have to tell him that it’s music from the heart, from the pulse, from the innermost feeling. That’s my soul; that’s how I sing. And that’s the South.”

If you’re new to the podcasting development and haven’t heard much about it, don’t be alarmed. In fact, it’s currently being endorsed mostly by the technical crowd, so consider yourself ahead of the game. By properly utilizing podcasting, you’ll be able to subscribe to desired RSS feeds, allowing you to receive audio files as quickly and conveniently as possible. To set up your account and begin podcasting now, visit PodBean, a free and easy Podcast Social Subscribing site.

With your newly found destination knowledge, packing guidelines, inside scoop from a lifelong beach goer, and recent podcasting discovery, you should be all set for spring break 2010. So hit the road! You’ve got places to go, people to see, and podcasting to conquer!

xoxo, Nikki May