Tweets and Ties

Don’t worry fellas, I didn’t forget about you. In fact, I was saving the best for last.

As a southern belle since birth, I’ve had the opportunity to date the best (and absolute worst) “men” that the South had to offer. While there are some fine young men who portray true southern gentlemen,  they are few and far between. Real far between. In fact, I’m beginning to think that they’re an endangered (if not extinct) species that must be saved before it’s too late. Therefore, I will attempt to present to you the tricks and trade of becoming a southern gentleman in hopes of restoring this once charming population. 

But before I do so, I’d like to digress. Although I honestly believe the South’s male population has forgotten what a true gentleman signifies, I can’t necessarily blame them. Perhaps it’s the wave of feminism sweeping the nation that has so wrongly transformed our men. After all, why would a man open a door for a woman who constantly declares that she’s strong enough, capable enough, and independent enough to do it on her own? Or, perhaps acting in a gentleman-like manner isn’t the “masculine” way to behave in today’s midst of rebels, outlaws, and “bad boys” that women so dearly crave. So guys, believe it or not, I truly sympathize on your behalf.

However, let that not be an excuse. If you expect to find a truly charming, intelligent, and graceful southern belle to stand by your side through thick and thin, you’re going to have to step it up. It’s only fair. So with that in mind, let’s get started.

According to Southern Byways and eHow, a true southern gentleman should do as follows:

1. Open doors. This one should be a given to any man who was raised right. Yes, women are perfectly capable of opening doors for themselves, but it shows a sense of respect that every woman should appreciate.

2. Carry heavy things. Again, women are not porcelain antiques, but they should be treated as so.

3. Mean it. Unfortunate for you, women have a way of detecting insincerity from a mile away. So don’t say something unless you mean it, don’t act in one way if you don’t mean it, and surely don’t make a promise if you don’t mean it. Nobody has time for childish games.

4. Live your beliefs. Stand up for what you believe in and never back down (don’t confuse this with stubbornness).  More importantly, allow your actions and way of life speak for itself. Anyone who knows you should know what you believe in, whether you’ve told them or not. Remember, actions speak so much louder than words.

5. Do unto others. After all, it’s the golden rule. If you wouldn’t wish it upon yourself, don’t dish it upon others.

6. Smile. Nothing says “hello” like those pearly whites.

7. Be responsible. You’ve outgrown those diapers, so it’s important to act like it. You shouldn’t be babysat, looked after, or watched. Just be responsible by paying your bills, doing what’s right, and getting your work done.

8. Expect resistance. Especially from any true southern belle. If it’s worth having, it won’t come easy.

9. Say “Please” and “Thank you.” Anyone with manners knows the importance of this one.

10. Compliment women. Southern gentlemen aren’t shy about flattering women, nor do they hesitate to shower them with compliments. If you think her eyes are pretty, tell her. If she doesn’t appreciate it, move on to the next one. She wasn’t worth your time anyway.

11. Respect your elders. This requires a sincere use of “Ma’am” and “Sir,” unless told otherwise.

12. Be polite. Contrary to popular belief, ladies don’t like “bad boys” who treat them badly – only insecure girls do, and it’s important to know the difference. Being anything less doesn’t get you anywhere other than someone’s bad side.  ( The Southern Advantage gives an excellent example of true southern politeness: If Donald Trump was from the South, he’d say “you’re fired, but bless your heart, you’ve tried.”)

13. Offer your coat.  Especially if you’re just getting to know a woman. You can offer your arm, but only after you’ve reached a truly comfortable level. This is not the time to make any moves, so don’t even think about it.

14. Pick her up. But don’t ever be too insistent, as it may come off desperate. If she wants to meet you at the restaurant on the first date, let her. She’s only ensuring her safety and should be allowed to do so. However, never fail to offer.

15. Allow her to order first. Take care of her needs first, or at least offer.

16. Dress the part. When in public, always be presentable (yes, this means you should know how to tie a tie). Women love to follow the old saying, “Look your best, but more importantly, hang your arm on someone who looks his best too.” So make it easy for her. If you need guidance, visit Southern Proper for all of your attire needs. After all, every woman loves well dressed gents.

17. Learn how to speak when with a lady. Although she may like to get down and dirty, she’s not “one of the guys,” so watch the language and treat her with respect.

18. Flirt. This may sound odd, but southern gentleman are avidly flirtatious. However this is not to encourage any vulgar or sexual comments. But let’s face it – southern gentleman flirt with most women they come across – whether the old lady down the street, the waitress at the diner, or his girlfriend/wife. They simply know how to make women feel good and enjoy doing it.

19. Remember chivalry. Contrary to popular belief, it truly does exist. Give up your seat for a woman (not just the elderly), stand when a woman enters the room, always walk on the outside of the street, always pull out her chair, and bring her flowers. 

20. Always defend a lady’s honor. Never allow a man at the bar to speak to her in an inappropriate manner, and offer to walk her to her car. Remember, a woman will always admire a man who can protect her. 

21. Be a man of your word. As eHow so graciously puts it, “a Southern gentleman is a man of his word. He is faithful to his wife, faithful to his church (if he is religiously inclined), unfailingly honest, and lives by a code of nobility. He is a genuine man in a world full of posers.” Thank you eHow, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

So gentlemen, do me a favor and restore the chivalry which was once so prominent across the southlands. By studying the previously listed ways of becoming a southern gentleman, acquiring the essential attire, and complimenting like crazy, you’ll be well on your way to becoming the next southern stud. But I must warn you- southern women have a sense of mystery that can make any pursuit challenging. Although well spoken and mild-mannered, their intellect and sassiness can leave you wondering. Luckily, today’s social media has the ability to alleviate some of your worrying woes as personal statuses plaster the Internet. Filled with daily activities, heartbreak stories, and personal insight, you may be able to decode her true emotions from a quick glance of her online status. So although you can’t read her mind, you can read her Twitter.

In 140 characters or less, she could tell you anything, ranging from her innermost emotions to what she had for lunch. Sound stalker-ish? Let me further explain. Twitter, (“A form of blogging that lets you write brief text updates about your life on the go and send them to friends and interested observers via text messaging, instant messaging, email or the Web”), allows users to tell friends (aka “followers”) what’s going on in their lives. By “tweeting,” users can pass along pointless information, self-promotion, news, and more. So although it may sound a bit intrusive, it’s really the nature of the beast. People want you to know what’s going on in their lives. So fellas, take advantage of this opportunity before it’s too late. Who knows, you may have been some lucky lady’s most recent tweet! 

Now that we’ve established proper southern gentlemen etiquette and basic Twitter knowledge, it’s time to switch gears. Remember how I mentioned I was saving the best for last? Well, it’s that time of the semester when finals are steadily approaching and things are coming to an end, including our blogging requirements. So as my last post of the semester, I wanted to leave you with something near and dear to my heart, and what better way to do that than to inform the male species of the characteristics they should be portraying? Don’t worry gentlemen, you can thank me later. However in addition to providing a step-by-step guide to winning any girl’s heart (or at least mine), I wanted to send you my upmost gratitude and appreciation for all of the support, comments, and wonderful feedback you’ve shown me. It’s been an amazing experience, and I look forward to continuing it with you even further.

So although this is the time many of my fellow classmates will discontinue blogging, Southern Charm is here to stay. That’s right folks, Southern Charm isn’t going anywhere. In fact, it’s going everywhere! I hope to travel the South in order to bring you everything southern, from the SEC, NASCAR, sweet tea, grits, country music, and southern hospitality to pictures and stories from the interstates of Texas, hills of Tennessee, and shores of the Carolinas. I truly believe that we do things different here, and aim to prove my belief through endless pictures and stories from yours truly. So if you still haven’t been fortunate enough to embrace the soul of the South, kick off your shoes and stay awhile longer! It’s going to be a long ride!

xoxo, Nikki May

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